Attitude 1: Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
Here is an excerpt from “The 5 Attitudes of Parenting” by Rick Williams.
Attitude 1 ^(http://www.amazon.com/Attitudes-Parenting-Ideas-Overwhelmed-Parents/dp/0595332226/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279502328&sr=8-5): Put on your own oxygen mask first.
Think about the times you have flown on an airplane. We all sit through the same instructions over and over again. The flight attendant explains to us that if the cabin were to lose pressure, oxygen masks would drop down. He or she then demonstrates how to put it on and pull the little straps so that it fits snuggly. Have you ever thought about why you would need an oxygen mask? At 35,000 feet (nearly 7 miles) there is very little oxygen and if we were left trying to breathe the outside air, we wouldn’t last very long. Isn’t it interesting that the instructions that follow tell us to put on our own oxygen mask first, before we help those requiring assistance (i.e. children). Think about that– Selfishly putting on your own oxygen mask while your child sits there trying to get enough oxygen. Does this make sense?
Of course it does! Depending on the altitude you could have as few as 20 seconds before you start to feel a little dizzy. If you were to spend your time trying to wrap the rubber bands of the oxygen mask over a wiggling child, what could happen to you? Who is going to help you if you start feeling a little dizzy? Is your 3 year old going to calmly attach your mask and gently pat you on the arm and tell you everything is going to be all right?
It makes sense that you must take care of yourself before you can turn to what your child requires. Now, I am in no-way implying that you become a hedonistic selfish sloth—only thinking about your own personal needs. If you are going to be there for your child(ren), you will need to be able to separate your issues from the issue at hand.
Issues? What do you mean issues? I don’t have issues? Let’s face it, we all have some things to work through. It is part of growing. Growth is a life long process. There is a point in our lives when we take control of our destiny and accept full-unabridged responsibility for who we are and what we do. For example, if you blame your parents or guardian for your problems with relationships, you have not taken the complete step to adulthood… and being a parent requires you to be an adult.
One of my dearest friends, Paul, has amazingly taken that step into self-reliance and acceptance. He had a horrible childhood. He endured regular beatings. One day his mother pounded his head so hard on the tile floors of the kitchen that he was left unconscious and bleeding on the floor. Paul was sent to live with his father in the desert of New Mexico where the emotional and physical abuse continued. Weary of the regular beatings, at age 15, Paul headed across the barren dessert and walked the 15 or so miles to the nearest town, without food or provisions. He took life into his own hands and accepted full responsibility for who he is. Yes he had issues, but he recognized it, and he now has a beautiful family including grandchildren. He served honorably in the Marine Corp and was able to achieve a degree in mechanical engineering. Never once did he look back, never once did he blame his parents for his hardships. However, I have heard him say, “I ain’t much, but I’m all I’ve got!”
Having known Paul for many years, I can tell you he is “much”, and continues to be one of my heroes. Here is a man who faced seemingly insurmountable odds, but chose to pull himself together and became a success. Paul also became a good parent, leaving his past issues behind. I recently asked him what is most important about being a parent. His response was that there were two things: One is to love your children unconditionally, and two is to make sure that they become independent.
• Love Unconditionally
• Encourage independence
So let’s take a lesson from Paul and embark on the journey to adulthood and continue on further down the road to parenthood.
Check out “The 5 Attitudes of Parenting” at a book outlet near you!
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Attitude 1: Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First By house | July 21, 2010
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